Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Gangster-type action


I would like to hire someone for a bit of "gangster-type action". I need a person skilled in the arts of knee breaking, poisoning and general roughing up. The individual I have in mind must be self motivated, driven by deep psychosis and comfortable with senseless violence. If some of my tax dollars are already paying for such services, I figure I could write off expenses involved in hiring thugs to take care of folks I don't like.

Here is just one problem my gangster could handle for me:

I can't find a spot for the car anywhere near my home because people in this city don't know how to park; two cars kill a spot in which three should easily fit. It also doesn't help that the radiator shop on the corner parks ten of their client's cars on the block. A personal thug could stand outside with a bat and swing at people who screw up the parking.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Gratuitous criticism

I can't look away from the slow motion nautical car crash that is Reid Stowe. Nearly sixty days in and they are becalmed off the coast of Africa at just the right latitude to be in the path of forming hurricanes. He recently wrote that he expects the trip to start going better because "summer is here". Funny, because his plan is to be sailing into the southern hemisphere where summer is not.

Then again, this small navigational error seems to have them near the house of Saud.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

100 Movies

Docking bay 94, page 73:Johnston ,Navin R., 63 violent crimes, 49 minutes, after 15 it drops you onto the NJ turnpike..

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Odyssey: No Sleep Till Brooklyn

N.S.T.B. is our new mantra. It took Odysseus nine years to get back to Ithaca, the Warriors spent a night and a day returning to the safety of Coney Island, our ETA in Brooklyn is two or three years.
Instead of fighting cyclops in a cave and baseball gangs in Riverside park, we do battle with the inhabitants of Frisco and the evil mortgage monster.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

NASA Explorers Salute Early Settlers

Max's first visit to 79th st



Squeezed in


Here's Shaba stuffed into her new slip, the bowsprit hangs over the front and the steering gear sticks out the back, there's not much room on either side either. Getting the boat through that marina and into the slip is like trying to thread a needle with a tugboat hawser. The real fun of the place is the motion: similar to docking in a washing machine that's falling down a flight of stairs. Rock and roll that requires all my dock line tying skills.
BUT HEY, I'M NOT COMPLAINING... the location can't be beat, I can ride my bike there, bang out of the marina and be sailing under the Golden Gate in an hour or two. I think its the best option for us in this town.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Front Fell Off

I like New York in June

Back at Ice Station Zebra (Frisco) after a 10 day visit to civilization (AKA NYC). Our springtime week in The City only served to reinforce (rub in our faces) this simple truth we figured out too late: New York is better than San Francisco. Of course this statement only holds true for people who wish to confront the world as it really exists; with art springing from filth, music mingled in noise, aroma chasing stench and weeks of beautiful weather sandwiched between the painful cold and brutal heat. Those who wish to hide in a fog bank on this windy left coast until they're shaken off the edge the continent, may go ahead and disagree.

We do owe Frisco (locals seem to think its uncool to call it that but I believe Otis Redding would disagree)for providing us with a platform of perspective....

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

- T.S. Eliot

We were exploring the possibility of a more comfortable life and found that the best kind of comfort comes from struggle and challenge. If I gave more credence to providence and faith I might say we ended up starting our family out here because it was meant to be. I'm more inclined to say our timing was a bit screwed up but the ease of life here has given us the slack, the breathing room, to bring Max into the world. So, as long as we return to Gotham before our son becomes a Friscian, it will all be for the best. My biggest regret, and my first mistake as a parent, is that the poor boy will not be born in NYC.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Water, just add boat


Our new slip at Pier 39 is paid for and waiting for Shaba. If all goes according to plan the new marina will be a vast improvement in our west coast boating life. Goodbye to daily 30 knot wind through the San Bruno coastal gap, see ya airport, so long 45 minute drive... hello hoards of brain dead tourists, howdy ferry wake and looking forward to meeting you, yet undiscovered torment.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Bad Service

This morning I am employed in the important business of fixing stupid things. Instead of spending my time making progress in life, I am correcting the failures of the following organizations:

1. Soldboats.com - A vendor I use for boat valuations has mis-charged my credit card
for the third time. I waste a lot time on these idiots but I need the service.

2. Chase Manhattan Bank - They issued the credit card that was misused by Soldboats.
I spent an hour on the phone with their people in India. Disconnected twice and was not helped at all.

3. Gmail - Absolutely no record of half the e-mails I sent yesterday.

4. HP and Microsoft - Don't know where to start there.

5. The liars that sold us this place - The construction below goes on. The floor vibrates from hammer blows, the noise and dirt are endless.

6. Comcast - The phone and internet have not worked correctly since the start. It is causing me problems.

7. Washington Mutual Bank - Can't gain access to my personal account and they have no idea why. They admit a problem but seem to be unable to help me.

8. T-Mobile - No access to my online account, their site is down as usual. They want to charge me for making my payment by phone.

9. Firestone Service center - Installed new brakes in car for a lot of money. A month later and that have started squeaking like crazy.

That was just this morning! I'm marching through many hours of aggravation just to get what I paid for. Here is why so many companies can provide bad service: they don't care and they don't have to care. They can live without me but I can't do too well without them. If I had the time and space to do so I'd figure out how to fix my own damn brakes. Every lifestyle has its aggravations. If I lived on a tropical island I'd probably be harassed by bugs or something. For the time being I will spend the untold hours trying to sort these things out, but... I will also be trying to figure out how to eventually phase out this crap and worry about bugs and stuff instead.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Separating the vision from the visionary

Since meeting Reid Stowe a few years ago on a dock at Chelsea Piers I've felt the need to come to some sort of conclusion about him. I saw him as a call to define my world view and choose sides: was he a deranged fruitcake or a visionary mystic? It had nothing to do with any other people, just the impression that what I had to say about him would say something about me.

The setting of that first close encounter was a wild west-side party on the Hudson river with all sorts of psychotropic stuff floating around. I knew this guy was consuming but I also knew that nobody can get high enough to say the kind of crazy shit that was coming out of his mouth. His self-built 30 year old, 60 foot long, steel schooner was tied up a few feet away from us as he explained how he was going to sail it to no place in particular for 1000 days. He and his wife had just returned from their honeymoon cruise of three months tracing the outline of a continent sized sea turtle in the middle of the Atlantic. They were getting a divorce. His new big idea was to sail this funky boat, telephone pole masts and all, out of sight of land, alone, or with another willing soul if one was to be found, for just over three years. He was looking for sponsorship, contributions or volunteer support in the boats preparation. Among other ideas, he thought NASA could learn from him when they planned a trip to Mars.

We had been introduced by a mutual friend, Reid had no reason to believe I could be of any help to him at all but he made his version of a sales pitch just as he would have presented to a Nike exec. He was enthusiastic, sincere, arrogant and over the top. He had some sort of past relationship with the great sailing vagabond philosopher Bernard Moitessier and Reid obviously fancied himself a disciple of that hero of mine. I had avidly read all Moitessier’s books and was sympathetic and open to his premise of harmony with the sea and self sufficiency. I even liked the story of dolphins warning him about a navigation error. But, on that night and in meetings to follow, I was not as receptive to the persona of Reid delivering that message. I still can’t put my finger on it but he just seemed too damned flakey to be undertaking what could otherwise be such a fantastic trip. Despite reports of his vast sailing experience he seemed all romanticism and no reality. The great solo ocean voyager I imagine goes largely unsung and is certainly never caught self promoting. Just shy of winning the first solo circumnavigators race Moitessier turned around and headed for Tahiti; he shunned the attention and sought the solitude.

Had he had his way I believe Reid would be sailing under the banners of Fortune 500 companies, but that was not to be (GE doesn’t bring lunatic sailor men to light, they bring good things). It seems he did manage some corporate support from the sailing world and some organic food vendors, among others… impressive really when you consider he invented a dream and got someone to pay him to live it. He also managed to get a 23 year old girlfriend (I think about 30 years his junior) who is going with him. She has absolutely no sailing experience other than a few trips up and down the Hudson. Most people would apply their righteous indignation here and say that it is terribly irresponsible to bring that poor girl along. Maybe as dangerous as hurdling down the freeway at 80 mph while talking on a cell phone and drinking coffee.

Professionally, I can find a thousand flaws with his boat, his preparation and execution. My sensibilities can find his behavior and cloths outrageous and his personality ridiculous. But, here I am several paragraphs in and still writing about his crazy scheme. I find myself daydreaming about it. 1000 days from land is an interesting, creative endeavor and I’m glad their trying it. As for my passing judgment on him, I have decided deranged fruitcakes can occasionally do great things. The ultimate judgment will be whether he makes it or not.

On that note I can’t resist adding my prediction: If she does not break an arm in her first rough seaway, they will return in a few months due to a contaminated freshwater supply… I hope I’m wrong.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

999 days to go

I will let this explain itself for now...

Friday, April 20, 2007

Love & Marriage



After 12 years of domestic partnership now it's really official, the robed lady in the big building says we're married. We now have our piece of paper from the city hall... the same city hall that dared to marry same-sex couples not long ago. Other important robed people in an even larger building decided their pieces of paper were no good. Now they are no longer married for no other reason than their chromosomes go xy and xy or yy and yy.
As unfair as that is, it was good for us because the line was short and we got right in. The entire experience was very enjoyable and perfectly affordable. For less than my fee for a small boat survey we got to exchange vows inside a fantastically beautiful and important looking building. We can now point to that big golden dome from any number of scenic vantage points around the city and say "thats where we got hitched".

Thursday, April 12, 2007

So it goes.


One of the authors responsible for my world view, sense of humor and ability to cope, has successfully committed suicide by Pall Mall.

A grand and meaningful act of tribute is called for.