I would like to hire someone for a bit of "gangster-type action". I need a person skilled in the arts of knee breaking, poisoning and general roughing up. The individual I have in mind must be self motivated, driven by deep psychosis and comfortable with senseless violence. If some of my tax dollars are already paying for such services, I figure I could write off expenses involved in hiring thugs to take care of folks I don't like.
Here is just one problem my gangster could handle for me:
I can't find a spot for the car anywhere near my home because people in this city don't know how to park; two cars kill a spot in which three should easily fit. It also doesn't help that the radiator shop on the corner parks ten of their client's cars on the block. A personal thug could stand outside with a bat and swing at people who screw up the parking.
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