Is it cheating if everyone does it?

One school of thought would say no, it's not cheating if everyone in any given competition is taking steroids - there is no unfair advantage. Would the argument then be that if you really want to win badly enough, the price is taking more drugs and sacrificing your health more than the guy you want to beat? If becoming a chemist's pin cushion is the main path to glory, well then sure, by any means necessary.

This system works fine for everyone except those for whom the no-drugs rules are designed to protect: the athletes who wish to compete with nothing but their own abilities, training and effort. The look the other way culture of drug enforcement is also detrimental to the fans who want to see an event unfold on the road, not in the lab. These may be cheesy sentiments said many times before but they really do ring true. What if we missed the next Eddy Merckx because he was overshadowed by those whose hearts pumped chemicals?

So why do people condemn the Tour when the organizers make such painfully brave decisions to do what's necessary to clean up the sport? Probably because John Q. Dumb-ass has the attention span of a flea and likes to jump to easy conclusions without a second thought. Phil Liggett says that this is the Tour's finest hour and I agree. Pro cycling is facing up to a problem by temporarily sacrificing some prestige in order to restore the true integrity of the sport. The phrase "confronting an inconvenient truth" comes to mind. This is something Major League Baseball doesn't have the balls to do. Giant headed Bonds is about to cheat his way past the home run record with the blessing of his commissioner. Its the same behavior displayed by the Bush administration: as long as you don't admit a problem, it doesn't not exist. Your greatest hero uses illegal performance enhancers? You just pushed the world closer to total chaos? You've made a mockery of our system of government by standing by your appointee to the highest law enforcement position in the land as he smirks while repeated lying to congress? Don't worry, it will all just go away. By that I mean it will be buried just deep enough to fester into a cancer that will eventually doom us all.

No more rust

We have a special attachment to this car.

When the movers were gone everything left had to fit in the car. Parked on the street in Brooklyn we packed and repacked until achieving the perfect sequence of stuffing and cramming to fit all our belongings into the trunk and back seat with just enough room left for us and the dog. The bikes went on the roof rack and we were at last completely self contained in a twelve year old car of questionable background. Our situation bore similarities to the Joads and other Oakies setting out west in overstuffed vehicles only to encounter Grapes of Wrath. As we sat in the Key Food parking lot on the verge of our great adventure across the country I was fairly certain we were just a few hours away from being broken down somewhere in Jersey. Instead, we zipped over the East river, across Canal Street, through the Holland Tunnel, and in true New Yorker poster style, to points west. The zigzag course across the country included Niagara Falls, Canada, Detroit, Iowa, Montana and Colorado. Our trusty old diesel tacked across the country at 80 mph getting up to 40 miles per gallon. It didn’t slow down when we hit the Rockies and didn’t falter on exploratory trips down washboard roads, it just kept on going.
It has continued to serve us reliably as we put roots down out here. It has helped me launch my business delivering me safely and promptly through terrible traffic to surveys all over Northern California. We plan to bring home our baby from the hospital in this car. The least we could do was take care of the advancing rust and multiple scrapes and gouges that were becoming impossible to ignore. For the cost of one good survey, Earl Sheib has given our beloved bullet a new life. Sure, there was some “overspray” and a few funny looking spots but at a distance, it looks damn good.
Although we own our home, boat and our child is about to be born here, I can’t help but look at the car as Captain Cook must have looked at the good ship Endeavour anchored somewhere across the globe from England: it got us out here and its our ticket back. Hopefully I won’t be killed and cooked before then.

Fantastic kind of crazy

These folks are sailing across the Atlantic on a boat made of reeds. I love this kind of thing.

Scenes of The City from The Times

These pictures ran with articles in The Times over the past few days. People in true urban heat are photogenic, yet another glory foggy town will never know. Yes, it's true that I do despise heat but it does look good from afar... and I miss complaining about it.

Art for sale

I painted this here picture, its acrylic on canvas. I'm auctioning it off and the bidding starts at $11,033. Its worth that much because its my first painting, its got lots of swirls and capillaries and that's how much I need for a new boat engine. The $33 covers material expenses. If you,or someone you know, wants my $11k painting, just drop a line. I expect it to go up in value after my moment of greatness on the worldwide stage, which should be any day now.
The survey business is good and getting better all the time, but I'm sure fate is holding all sorts of unexpected expenses to smother any prospect of profit. Just for example, I recently paid $120 for a 14 year old phone bill. Somehow Verizon (NY tel at the time)tracked me down for a 1993 phone bill that my roommate had run up. I knew nothing of it until they found me last week. That's fine, its life. Luckily I will be selling my art and collecting my profits from the Google ads.

Fatherhood training

I'm in the process of fine tuning my fatherhood training regiment. I developed the program for myself to simulate the rigors I'll be facing when Max escapes the womb. Some push ups to build the necessary baby handling strength with running to hone my toddler chasing skills are the physical components of my program. That's the easy part.
The next step is building mental toughness. Just yesterday I practiced patience drills while driving through the city. When the stoner driving the car in front of me takes a full 35 seconds to react to the fact the light has turned green, I do not honk, I do not yell. I take otherwise aggravating situations like that as opportunities to improve my freak out threshold. The freak out (FO)threshold, otherwise known as the "going ape-shit level", is the point at which the day's accumulated aggravation causes an outburst that closely resembles a psychotic episode. In fact, it is semi-controlled pressure relief valve designed to prevent a brain hemorrhage and, more importantly, get the freaker-outer out of the aggrivating situation. Needless to say, super human strength and sub human intelligence become available during the course of the event, the latter attribute being more valuable than it sounds.
My FO threshold has been fairly high since we have move out to Frisco; nothing in this place can recreate the aggravation NYC has to offer. I was a connoisseur of aggravation when I had a one and a half hour commute to work on three subways and bus. The Bx29 full of screaming teenagers, deranged subway riders defecating next to me, and even worse.... people reading the NY Post right in front of me! These were just a few of the daily ingredients that went into an ape-shit pie. Like an unarmed Bernie Goetz I would be forced to occasionally go into vigilante mode on the train... always ugly but usually necessary.
The problem is that the easy living out here has weakened my skills. I'm starting to get bent out of shape by driving, stomping neighbors and people getting shot in the head around the corner. This will not do with a baby on the way, I must improve my FO threshold and patience drill are the only way to go.

My plan has angered Google

The ad visiting effort has been a great success!! The money actually added up to an amount that, if maintained daily for the next eighteen years, could take a big chunk out of Max's tuition. Thanks to all who showed interest and took the time.

One small problem/opportunity... it seems this scheme has come to the attention of Google, my cyber overlord, who's probably monitoring this post as I type. No sooner than the bounty of all your generous clicks registered, did they send me an e-mail explaining all the prohibited forms of click activity. Apparently, encouraging people to click on the ads is frowned upon. I wrote them back to ask exactly what I am allowed to write and say to my friends and family but they have not yet responded. Should I expect the door to be kicked in any moment? Does Google have its own version of Gitmo?

I have to admit that they might have a point, my actions could be interpreted as exploiting a good service. This blog being provide for free by them could give rise to a school of thought that says: "I will be grateful for this blog, my free e-mail and the ads that target me as I type, the satellite and street view pictures that allow anyone in the world to see me picking my nose in front of my house, the de facto source and organizer of all the worlds information." Who cares if they turn in Chinese web browsers who type words like "democracy", its the Chinese government's right to imprison whoever they want. Its an inevitable accident of the free market that bad things happen in the course of business. Its not like they are telling friends to go to their website and check out the ads. After all, their mission statement is "Do no evil" so they can't possibly be bad.
I realize this logic may seem as tortured as a Chinese web surfer, but if they don't like what I'm doing all I can say is tough freakin' noogies. They should come up with a legal way to stop me. Which gives me an idea. Maybe reckless free speech law suits against giant companies could put Max through school. Why throw pebbles at the moon when I could be hurling boulders at it?

Welcome potential ad clickers!

Glad you could make it to my blog. Have you clicked on the ads yet? You know, young Max Brody gets money when you click on the ads.... so get going. Hell, you can even patronize the sponsors for all I care, as long as Max gets his nickel.
Now that you have clicked on the ads I'll provide some content... just as soon as I go out into the world and experience something interesting to write about. In the mean time, please browse around my blog archives. I recommend the entries from my fear-of- annihilation-by-asteroid phase.